Is Your Relationship, A Twin Flame or Simply Unhealthy?

I think a very common theme with most of us who stumble across this concept of Twin Flame and are in the beginning stages of the relationship is to wonder if we've lost our minds and have somehow become one of those people who stay in unhealthy relationships because you can't find the inner strength to walk away. I hope this article will bring a little clarity, strength and comfort for those of you in the midst of Twin Flame drama, or perhaps not certain if what you have is a twin flame or simply abusive.

I will jump right to the point first off, the difference between a Twin Flame Relationship and an "unhealthy" relationship is very basic in my opinion the "pain" of a TF relationship is used in your life quite like an abrasive to polish a stone rather than something destroying your soul. It is cleansing it. No matter how painful the process, it IS a healthy process and I think that is a HUGE indicator of the difference between a TF relationship and an unhealthy one.

As I have been coming to know more and more people who find themselves in the midst of what we have all come to know as "Twin Flame Drama" I have seen something I find disturbing, too many women in particular, are using the romantic notion of a twin flame excuse their obsessive and even frightening behavior in regards to how they treat or allow themselves to be treated. What I would like to say most clearly is that
Twin Flame or not, no one has the right to treat you disrespectfully and you have no right to push yourself into someone's life who doesn't want you there.

Please remember that we are all humans traveling this life path at different places and first and foremost is respect for your own journey, but just as important is the respect of another person to travel their path as they need. I know first hand how hard this is in regards to your finding your Twin Flame and them choosing to be with someone else other than you. It is one of the most excruciating experiences this life deals us and no you are not imagining that. However, you still deserve dignity and respect and you owe the same to your Twin Flame... period.

If you are anything like me, you found yourself questioning the health of your TF relationship a LOT in the beginning. I have made it my intention to work hard on all my relationships, to keep them healthy and balanced. This has been a long thread in my life and of utmost importance to me on a personal level. When I found myself letting my TF treat me in ways I first of all couldn't fathom he'd do, and I knew he'd never treat anyone else like that, I was confounded. 

Now don't get me wrong, there has never been any physical or verbal abuse in our relationship. The pain, and the core issues were the fact that he fell in love with another woman and I sat by and watched and accepted any crumb he'd spare me like some pathetic stray pup beneath a table... it galled me! The pain has been unbearable at times and all the while this was going on, I had amazing men wanting to be with me and I simply couldn't. Most of the people around me thought I'd become an obsessed woman out of touch with reality, but I know myself and though I questioned myself constantly as to how I could allow him to stay in my life despite how carelessly he appeared to regard my feelings, as you know, with a TF, you simply cannot walk away from what is literally the other half of your soul.

What I've learned at this point, is though the TF relationship often looks to those on the outside like an unhealthy relationship, and oftentimes friends and family may try to convince you to get out, there is a unique and sometimes subtle difference in your soul and I would urge you to listen to that. Is the relationship causing you to confront your own issues of self and ego? Is it making you stronger, more compassionate, enlightening you, or is it tearing you down and making you less than?  The most important thing for you as an individual is self awareness and honesty. No matter what relationship you are in, be honest with yourself about how it changes you. Because the purpose of relationships, all relationships, is to learn, to grow, to heal and to change, but no one should subject themselves to a relationship that tears apart their soul, their dignity and makes them question their worth. That is NOT a TF relationship no matter how strong the feelings are.

Twin Flame relationship will never be easy. They are not the fairy tale. Their purpose is to refine you, to heal you, to tear you to your core so you can become more than you would have been otherwise, but you are talking about a very painful process. Just be certain the pain you are feeling is the pain of your wounds being ripped open so they can heal, not the pain of new scars being added to your soul. At the end of the day, the only person you can trust and who can guide you is you. Get to know yourself, become as self aware and enlightened as you can, then no matter what crosses your path you will bear an inner strength that will sustain you in all things.

Until next time, peace, light and love ~ Sofia